To you, wherever it is you may be

I don't know when or if you will ever read this. But I need you to know I have loved you from the day you were born. I haven't seen you in 3 years. The last time I held you, you didn't know who I was. Never in my life had I felt as though my heart was crushed. I am not writing this to point fingers, or pit you against your mom. I am doing this so that someday you might see this and know I have never stopped loving you. You are on my mind everyday. God knows I would give anything to watch you grow up again. But this time I would be the one to get you ready for school, pack your lunch, make you dinner, read your bedtime stories, and tuck you in. Not in my wildest dreams did I think you wouldn't be around me everyday. The day you were taken from was the day my life ended. I fake smile and laugh my way through what I have now. But its tough living with a huge hole in my chest. I know your mom is raising you right. But it still hurts not to throw in my two cents. One day maybe.
Anyways, I wanted to start this before its too late. I am going to Afghanistan soon. I don't know how many bullets I can dodge, but I will fight everyday if it gets me to you. I love you munchkin. You are the light at the end of this tunnel. Sweet dreams.